The Last Call of the Kauaʻi ʻōʻō Bird Extinct 1987 2021 Bluetooth enabled vibrator, transmitter, Mp3 players, speaker Dimensions variable   Valentine’s Day 2021 Used Hitachi Magic Wand, wooden stool, wooden box, present ribbons, construction adhesive, hot glue, extension cord 16 x 22 x12 inches     Found objects should do what they're designed to do in the work; if it’s a rope let it tie something, if it’s a cement block let it weigh something down. Looking at the Hitachi Magic Wand, the first thing it does besides bring pleasure is be loud. It is notoriously the loudest vibrator on the market. It’s design is strange; the battery easily overheats so a fan is installed inside to aid the burning battery. There is no automatic off-switch if it is kept on too long. It is a threat; the longer it is on the more likely it is to catch fire, explode, and melt. I’ve given myself an electric shock many times during the process of attempting to tinker with the vibrator- it’s just not well made. Yet, it is a staple in queer bedrooms everywhere. It’s simply iconic. I think of my gender within the art of failure. If I am queer, I’m not very good at it. If I am transgender, I am not very good at it. And if I am a sculptor, I am not very good at it, either.    When I began the vibrator works, I was looking at my environment and noticing what I had an abundance of: vibrators. I had been on Zoloft for three years, my life partner and I began a long and painful road of sexual dysfunction and rejection. I was questioning my queerness deeply. If queerness is a sexuality, what happens when you are not having sex? I felt sterilized and confined. I needed to turn to community, other queer people, and radical ideology to find my place. I think I spent more time wondering who I am than most. It still isn’t clear.    I choose to find joy in making. I choose to play and have the studio filled with jokes and laughter. Why shouldn’t a sculpture be funny and a little silly? Humor is an amazing tool that can be used to navigate the hardest parts of humanness. Mr. Rogers said “If it’s mentionable it’s manageable.”     Working through personal narrative surrounding identity and a tender research based practice, Julian Zeidler (they/them) engages with leftist theory through misuse and the art of failure. Play is a preciously held political philosophy. Julian is a United Statesian sculptor, drawer, and performer. They received their BSA from Southern Connecticut State University and their MFA from University of Pennsylvania. Julian currently resides in Bradenton, FL.